Mommy's Night Out, Friday, March 6th, 2015

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I got to go out and see my favorite band in the world, Gogol Bordello, and get a good night's sleep at the same time.  It was overwhelmingly awesome.  I got my amazing parents to watch the kid overnight, so the husband and I could be free and unencumbered.  We borrowed his Dad's condo for the night and headed to the French Quarter.  

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I got to try a new restaurant, drink like a grownup and sleep uninterrupted for 7.5 hours.  I counted because it's very important to me suddenly how many hours I sleep at a time.  I miss those 9 hour days so much.  Anyway, the band was awesome.  I love me some gypsy punk and Gogol Bordello always delivers.  You should check them out online here.

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For the occasion I wanted to look appropriate for a rock concert, but I needed to be able to walk long distances and eat somewhere nice-ish.  I settled on a this blue top, skinny jeans, ankle boots, curly hair, minimal jewelry and makeup.  I put on real adult makeup including lots of eyeliner for fun.   I also wore a leather jacket and a scarf but I didn't remember to get pictures of those.  Excellent times were had, my friends, and I can't way to do it again soon.

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Hoop earrings :: NY&Co.
Pipe necklace :: gift from Mom
Blue top :: Asos Curve
Black skinny jeans :: Forever21+
Black ankle boots :: DSW

You Have a Baby in a Bar, Sunday, March 1st, 2015

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Have you guys ever seen that movie Sweet Home Alabama?  There's a scene where Reese Witherspoon looks at an old friend and says, 'You have a baby.... in a bar."  Well, so did I on this particular day, two bars in fact.  Elle and I took the Kid to see her dad's band play at a local benefit for a kids' sports team.  Technically, we were in a bar, but it was a family friendly bar (maybe that's only a Louisiana thing).  Then, we went to visit her aunt at another bar/restaurant.  The Kid gets around.


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Baby sling sans the Kid

I wore this dress because it's really easy to unzip and feed/pump for the little one.  I also liked that the stripes distract from any misshappenness I feel is going on post-pregnancy.  It's a new purchase from Kmart!  I also sported my fabulous baby sling, which I finally managed to get a picture of.  Lucky you guys!


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Pearl mesh earrings :: gift from husband
Mother of pearl bracelet :: gift from MIL
Twisty silver bracelet :: no idea
Green sweater :: Ruche
Stripe dress :: Kmart
Black booties :: Target

Groceries and a Movie, Saturday, February 28th, 2015

I want to be witty, but my brain isn't working that well.  I guess that's what happens when you really need a bit of sleep.  Soooo, here's my outfit from when the husband and I got out the first time alone since the Kid was born.  I wanted to remind him that I could still look nice if I tried, and this dress is easily adaptable to feeding her.

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We went to see the Kingsman and bought groceries instead of getting dinner.  Sure, it messes with the whole dinner and a movie scenario but we really needed groceries more than a meal out.  We've actually eaten out a lot just not alone together.  Another time, I'm sure!  Also, the Kingsmen was awesome.


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Pearl mesh earrings :: gift from husband
Copper pipe necklace :: gift from Mom
Black slip :: Marshalls
Black dress :: Marshalls
Black tights :: no idea
Black booties :: Target

Grey Matches, Thursday, February 12th, 2015

This outfit is brought to you by actually shaving my legs for the first time in too long to admit to on the Internet.  I miss my dresses and skirts, which is challenging because only this one fits well right now, but hey it's basic black and goes with grey.  The rest of the motivation for this outfit was being able to wear my baby sling, which is grey, to the grocery store without looking nuts.  So, I added a grey t-shirt with ducks printed on the back.  Makes sense to me, so it works right. 

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I was going to get pictures of the baby sling but apparently it's hard to do that plus empty the car of groceries, Popeye's chicken (cause it's close to Mardi Gras), a baby, and move cars back into my driveway.  I did get pictures of me, so that's got to count for something.  Nothing particularly interested happened while I was at the store.  Basically no one even noticed there was a kid in my sling.  I think they must've thought I was really into Grecian fashion cause my brother says the sling looks like a toga.  

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Grey tank :: Loft
Grey duck t-shirt :: Anthropologie
Black pencil skirt :: Forever21+
Skull converse :: Custom from Converse site

Life Lately

I'm sure you all know how unglamorous my life is right now.  But, I thought I'd share a few photos from my day to day with you guys.  Here we go...


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I'm loving daily cups of tea from my new electric kettle.  Mostly I keep it decaf in the hopes I won't be desperate for caffeine all the time, but I do cave occasionally after long nights up feeding the little dictator.

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If you are the kind person who sent me flowers, please let me know.  I got these lilies, which happen to be one of my two favorite flowers, and still don't know who sent them.  I'm enjoying them though and hope my secret benefactor wouldn't mind sending a fresh bouquet every two weeks!

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More boring baby related cr*p in this photo of a Boppy.  My arms are so sore from holding someone all the time that this thing helps with feedings.  It follows me from room to room usually with an old fashioned cloth diaper as a burping cloth.

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I want to drink more water, but it's really hard.  I have a cup in the bathroom for when I wake up at night and I keep one in the kitchen, too.  I try to drink a glass of water every time the Kid eats, but I'm sucking at it.  Maybe I should cut up cucumber and lemon or fancy fruit to make it more of a priority!

Smudges, Monday, February 9th, 2015

I had to take the Kid for a doctor's appointment, so I figured why not get dressed in real clothes. I am mostly wearing yoga pants or leggings and t-shirts if I'm hanging at home.  So, leaving the house warrants a pair of jeggings, a nice t-shirt, a necklace, and a fedora.  It was a little weird to be in the pediatrician's office in a fedora, but I like it!

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This outfit is pretty typical of the few other times I've left the house.  I've been wearing the jeggings I bought early on in pregnancy cause they fit (she gloats).  I pull out a shirt that is warm but not too warm because I run hot like a furnace.  I try to add a shoe that looks intentional like a boot or my Converse with skulls, and I do a necklace.  Earrings just seem like too much work right now, but necklaces are like my flare. 

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I also continuously sport this fetching belly bandit which is supposed to help shrink down my stomach.  It does help with back support and sucking in my gut, so at least there's that.  I also happened to be sporting smudges of acne cream because I didn't check my mug in the mirror.  I guess no one feels compelled to tell the mother of a week old baby that she is covered in white spots all over her face and a little bit of that blueberry muffin she had for breakfast.  Color me embarassed upon returning home!

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Fedora :: store in Portland
Long chain necklace :: String-A-Bead (gift from FIL)
Cream blouse :: Forever21+
Cream tank :: Loft
Skinny jeans :: Forever21+
Black boots :: H&M

What It Means to be Feminine

Guess what, ya'll?  I had a kid, and she's cute as hell.  I'm totally in love with her, but getting her out was no easy business.  No matter how you do it (natural, epidural, c-section), you end up busted in some way.  You are weak and sore and scarred up, and it takes a toll on you.  You are also reminded that these processes (labor, birth, breastfeeding, etc.) are part of being a physical female.  Yet, taking care of myself after it all went down has reminded me that femininity isn't so easily defined as a physical state or a societal norm.
 
Yes, I have lady parts and I am genetically a woman, but society's version of femininity doesn't really apply to stuff I've needed to do to help heal.  I won't go into icky details of my labor, but I've had to do things that are a bit gross, totally weird, and highly out of the ordinary.  Google it if you want more insight because that's all I'm gonna say.
 
If I contrast my reality with the advice I've received in person and from books, I have to laugh.  Much of it plays into that delicate, surface beauty that is so often associated with women.  For example, the birth class where the teacher suggested I buy a white satin robe to use in the hospital after labor.  Let's just say that white satin would always be a bad choice.  I've also read that I should bring lavish products to the hospital to pamper myself.  I personally was just thrilled to take a shower by myself without getting light headed. 
 
Let me clarify that I'm not saying that if you are a woman and you want those things, you're shallow.  You aren't because people should take care of themselves as they need.  What I am saying is that presenting the only way to take care of yourself as a woman in those terms is limiting and dismissive of the female experience as a whole.  We all know I run a style blog and post photos of myself, so I am as vain as the next person.  Hey, I even brought makeup just in case I busted the blood vessels in my face.  I wasn't going to have pictures of me looking a hot mess holding a cute new kid circling the Internet.
 
Those flourishes, that desire to care about my appearance, any extra trappings also felt like unnecessary pressure on women to be some sort of ideal.  I mean it's enough to just be a contributing member to society, let alone choose to be a parent whether or not that's because you grew your own kid or fell in love with one who needed a good home.  Shoot being a parent doesn't make me any more or less than anyone else but there's this overt romanticized notion of how everything should be instead of just letting things be as they are.
 
Where am I going with this post?  I guess I just wanted to write that being female to me isn't giving birth, isn't wearing makeup, isn't following some standard societal derivation of femininity.  Being female is who you are in your mental picture.  I'm female, I gave birth and I don't wear makeup.  I like dresses and power tools and getting my hands dirty.  Sometimes, I meet the archetype, and sometimes, I don't.  You don't need to. 
 
If you are female in your form, your mind or your heart, then I can see you as a woman, too.  You don't need breasts, estrogen, a vagina, or some badge of honor.  Don't allow some external force to let you define yourself or weigh your own self-worth ever.  Maybe that's a weird thing to learn from popping out a tiny person, but it's definitely something I've learned. 
 
Hope you all are doing well and that I can post again soon.